What the Heart Wants
by Tuttle
Summary: As Brooke considers bring the publication of Tempo Magazine to an end, she finds herself falling once again for an old flame. NOW COMPLETE. Please R&R.
1. Chapter One

What the Heart Wants  
"No," Brooke English said as she sat behind her desk at Tempo Magazine. "I don't like the way this is falling together."  
  
"This is the way we always do it, Brooke," Edmund Grey said as he stood over her desk. "The editorials, the columns, the ads, it's all in here."  
  
"It needs something else," Brooke said. "Something different."  
  
Edmund took a seat in front of her. "Since when do we have to change the layout of the magazine?" he asked.  
  
"Since this is it, Edmund. The end of Tempo as we know it."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Edmund asked. "The end of Tempo?"  
  
"I'm thinking of suspending publication."  
  
"Suspending publication? Brooke, are you out of your mind. Tempo's on  
  
top."  
  
"It's not going to be for long. I think it's better for us to go out on top than to wait."  
  
"Are you feeling alright today?" Edmund asked. "Did you not have your coffee or something this morning, because yesterday we had no type of conversation at all about discontinuing the magazine."  
  
"And we're not going to, Edmund," Brooke said.  
  
"What are we going to do about work?"  
  
"What do you have to worry about? You're a Pulitzer Prize winner." Brooke stood. "I don't want to talk about this now."  
  
"When are we then, Brooke?"  
  
Brooke shook her head. "I'm going to lunch."  
  
"I'm half owner of Tempo," Edmund said, following her. "If this is going to happen, I think we should discuss it. Brooke."  
  
"Let's just forget I said anything, OK?" Brooke said. "I'll be back after I eat."  
  
Brooke left Edmund standing in the doorway as she made her way out to the car. "What are you doing, Brooke?" she asked herself.  
  
"If you gave yourself an answer, I would really have to start worrying."  
  
"Tad," Brooke jumped, smacking Tad in the arm. "What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?"  
  
"I was just heading up to see if you wanted to get some lunch," Tad said to her. She didn't answer. "Is something wrong?" he asked.  
  
"I'll tell you about it over a sandwich and a cup of coffee?"  
  
"Sounds good to me," Tad said moving aside. "Valley Inn?" Brooke nodded as they walked to Tad's car. "You haven't returned any of my calls in the last few days," Tad said as they drove.  
  
"I've been... pretty busy, Tad," Brooke said. "I meant to." Tad nodded as he kept his eyes on the road.  
  
They pulled up to the Valley Inn and walked inside. They took a seat and a waitress brought them two menus. "I don't need a menu," Brooke said. "I'll have a pastrami."  
  
"And I'll have a burger and fries." Tad said. "And can we get a couple of coffees?" The waitress wrote down their order and walked away. "Now," Tad said. "What is it that has your feathers all ruffled?"  
  
"My feathers are not ruffled." Brooke said.  
  
"They're not?" Tad said. "Well then you're usually this tense? Could have fooled me."  
  
"I think that this next issue of Tempo is going to be the last." Brooke said.  
  
"Why?" Tad asked, leaning forward. "I thought Tempo was doing great."  
  
"It is," Brooke said.  
  
Tad squinted his eyes and dropped his jaw a bit. He pointed his finger at her. "You're confusing me here," he said. "You did just say you're shutting down Tempo."  
  
"I'm thinking about it."  
  
"And sales are fine. Everything's honkey dorey." Brooke nodded as the waitress arrived with their coffee. "Are you out of your mind?"  
  
"You sound like Edmund," she said taking a sip.  
  
"And what exactly does your partner say about all this?"  
  
"I haven't really given him a chance to say much of anything," Brooke explained. "This whole thing has been pretty one sided."  
  
"Brooke," Tad said. "Let me just ask you this one question, OK?" Brooke waited silently. "Why?" Tad paused and thought for a moment. "You're getting another award, aren't you?" Brooke didn't answer. "That's it, isn't it? You're putting the kabosh on Tempo because of what happened... more than five years ago?"  
  
"It's more than that," Brooke said. "Besides, it's just a nomination."  
  
"Sure, it's just a nomination. But if you jump ship on production now, you don't have a snowball's chance of winning that award. Your names will be pulled from consideration." he paused. "And that'll be all fine and dandy for you, won't it? Then you won't have to get on the plane and fly to New York with Edmund and Maria, and you won't have to relive every single second of hell that you saw back in '97."  
  
"Stop, Tad," Brooke said. "Alright, just stop it."  
  
"No, wait," Tad said. "Hold on, I think I'm getting to something here. I've hit a chord haven't I? You can't face getting on that plane with Edmund and Maria again."  
  
"Can we drop this conversation, please?" Brooke asked.  
  
"Sure," Tad said, leaning back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. "As soon as you admit that I'm right."  
  
"How is it that you're the one who's always right, Tad?" Brooke asked. "Never anybody else, always Tad Martin."  
  
Tad shrugged. "Just good I guess." Brooke shook her head in disgust as she stood and started out of the Valley Inn. "Brooke." Tad said, quickly throwing down money on the table and chasing after her. "Brooke. Come on." He grabbed her arm, turning her around to face him. She pulled away from his grasp and stood there. "Look, I'm sorry, alright. Point taken end of conversation. Now can we go back in there? I just gave that waitress three times the price of our meal and we didn't even get a chance to eat it." he paused. "Not another word about Tempo, I swear." She raised her eyebrows at him. "I swear." Tad raised his hand. "Scout's honor."  
  
"You weren't a scout," Brooke said.  
  
"So? What's your point?" Brooke shook her head, a smile slightly showing on her face as she walked back inside and sat. "I was thinking," Tad said. "I'm going with Jamie to the movies on Friday night. What do you say?"  
  
"I don't know," Brooke said as the food arrived at the table. "I'd have to see what I'm doing."  
  
"On a Friday night?" Tad smiled. "I'll tell you what you'd be doing. Sitting home alone, with a bowl of microwaved popcorn and a made for TV movie. Haven't you realized that the plots of those are all the same? Man meets woman, they fall in love. Unfortunately for the woman, the man is already married."  
  
"Sounds like my life," Brooke said.  
  
"Hardly," Tad said. "Usually in those movies, the woman sinks to all sorts of lows in attempt to get rid of the man's wife."  
  
"Earth to Tad. Think Maria Grey."  
  
Tad picked at his french fries. "That's different." Brooke supported her head with her hands, looking at him. "How did the conversation end up going in this direction?"  
  
"Tad, look," Brooke said. "I appreciate lunch, I do. But I... I'm not feeling too well, I think I'm going to go home... take the rest of the day off." Tad stood. "No, it's alright. I'll grab a cab."  
  
"Are you sure?" Tad asked. "It's on my way."  
  
"It's OK," Brooke said. "Finish your lunch."  
  
Tad slowly sat back down and nodded. "I'll give you a call later," he said. Brooke lightly touched Tad's shoulder and then turned and left the Valley Inn. 


	2. Chapter Two

Edmund sat in a chair by the fireplace, a drink in one hand and his head in the other. He watched the flames flicker bright yellows and oranges, almost putting him in a trance, only to be interrupted by a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Edmund jumped. "Did I scare you?" Maria said. "I'm sorry." Edmund reached over and took her hand. "The kids are asking for you to tuck them in." Edmund took a sip of his drink as Maria sat herself on the arm of the chair. "What's bothering you?" Edmund shook his head. Maria walked around to face him. "I might not remember much, Edmund, but I do know when something's on your mind. You've been quiet all night."  
  
"Brooke..." Edmund said. "Is thinking of pulling the plug on Tempo."  
  
"Why?" Maria asked. "You two worked together for..."  
  
"Eleven years," Edmund said. "And then all of a sudden this afternoon, it seemed like she didn't even want to know that the magazine even existed."  
  
"Well..." Maria said. "Maybe she was having a bad day or something. I don't know."  
  
"We're doing so well. We even got nominated for another award. But if Tempo doesn't last the rest of the year, we'll be taken off the ballot."  
  
"Doesn't Brooke know that?"  
  
"Of course," Edmund stood and began pacing the room. "Of course... she knows. She's been doing this since the magazine came to Pine Valley. Tempo came here because of Brooke."  
  
"Well, maybe you should talk to her," Maria said. "I mean, there's got to be a reason, right? Why don't you call her?"  
  
Edmund checked his wristwatch. "She's probably in bed."  
  
"At eight o'clock?"  
  
"Yeah... she took the afternoon off, thought she was coming down with something."  
  
"Nothing serious I hope."  
  
"Probably just the flu."  
  
"Maybe whatever it is she's got has made her..."  
  
"Go completely crazy?"  
  
Maria tilted her head to the side. "Call her, Edmund," she said. "Will you just call her."  
  
"Daddy?" a tiny voice came from the doorway. Maria and Edmund looked over and saw Maddie standing there in her pajamas and bare feet, holding a teddy bear. "Aren't you going to tuck us in?"  
  
Edmund walked over and scooped the little girl up in his arms. "What are you doing down here, huh?" he said playfully.  
  
"Mommy said you'd come," Maddie said. "And we waited and waited so I came to get you."  
  
"OK, sweetheart," Edmund said, putting her back down on the ground. "I'm all yours." He smiled as Maddie took his hand, wrapping her small fingers around two of his. Edmund shrugged, looking back at Maria. "In the morning," he said.  
  
Maria smiled, trying to contain her laughter as Maddie led Edmund away.  
  
  
  
Jamie Martin stood in the backyard, dribbling the soccer ball between his feet. The white of the ball was just about all that could be seen in the darkness.  
  
"Are you going to take a shot sometime tonight?" Tad asked as he stood by the fence, his knees bent, waiting for Jamie to kick the ball. "My legs are starting to fall asleep over here."  
  
Jamie sent the ball flying across the yard as the porch light went on. Tad was caught off guard, turning his head toward the house and away from the soccer ball. That split second was all it took.  
  
"Dad." Jamie said, running to his side. Tad was keeled over, his hand up to his right eye. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Tad." Brooke ran out of the house and down to him. "Oh my God are you OK?" she asked. "Let's get you inside and get some ice on that."  
  
Tad, Jamie and Brooke made their way back into the house and Tad took a seat at the kitchen table as Brooke took a cold compress out of the freezer. She took a seat beside him, placing it on his eye.  
  
"I'm really sorry, Dad," Jamie said.  
  
"It's alright." Tad cringed a bit as the cold ice touched his face. "It was a good shot. I just got caught off guard," he said as the phone rang.  
  
"I got it," Jamie said as he ran out of the room.  
  
Brooke removed the ice for a moment and looked at his eye. "Ca you see out of it?" she asked.  
  
"Does it look that bad?" Tad asked.  
  
"the ice should keep the swelling down a little , but you're still going to have a nice black eye." Brooke placed the ice back on his eye. She paused a minute. "Jamie! Who's on the phone?"  
  
"JR!" Jamie called back.  
  
"Those two call eachother at all hours," Tad said. "Oww."  
  
"Sorry." Brooke paused. "It serves you right, you know."  
  
"And why is that?" Tad asked.  
  
"What prompted you to help Jamie at nine o'clock when it's pitch black outside?"  
  
"If I remember correctly, the afternoon was for homework, no?"  
  
"Yes, you remember correctly." Brooke smiled. "The least you could have done was turn the back light on."  
  
"I know, I know," Tad laughed. "Someone could have put an eye out. I'll keep that in mind next time."  
  
"Would you, please?" Brooke smiled. "Or at least warn me so I can have the ice ready."  
  
"Deal," Tad said. "Can you just do me one favor? Take the ice." Tad lightly pushed her hand away from his eye.  
  
"Wow, that's going to look wonderful tomorrow morning." Brooke shook her head. "It's starting to swell up now. Are you sure you're going to be alright driving home?"  
  
"Should be," Tad said. "At least I still have one good eye left, right?"  
  
"Unless you decide to go back out there and try for the other eye."  
  
"Very funny," Tad said standing. "Are we on for the movies tomorrow?"  
  
"I really don't know, Tad."  
  
"Hey, I could microwave buttered popcorn with the best of them," he said.  
  
"I thought you had plans with Jamie."  
  
"He's a teenager. His plans changed. He's going to go spend some time with JR tomorrow night." Tad paused. "True Confessions of the Heart is on at eight. It's a little old, but I saw it when it first came out... right up your alley."  
  
"And who had to twist your arm to get you to watch that one?" Brooke laughed.  
  
"Greenlee." Brooke raised her eyebrows. "Don't ask. I stopped by the loft to talk to Jake, the movie was starting when Jake got paged... she asked me to stay... and she practically had a full course meal set out, so I sat through it."  
  
"How noble of you."  
  
"Come on, Brooke. What do you say? I'll pick up the take out. We'll call it a party. It's got to be better than both of us sitting home alone all night."  
  
Brooke thought for a moment. "OK." She gave in. "True Confessions of the Heart it is. I'll have the popcorn ready and waiting."  
  
"See?" Tad said as he started towards the front door. "You're just like me, Brooke. Deep down, you really can't stand Friday nights at home alone."  
  
"I don't think anyone's quite like you, Tad." She said following him. Tad just smiled at her. "Just do me a favor and be careful driving home with that eye."  
  
"Will do," Tad said. "I'll call you tomorrow." Tad looked over at Jamie who was still on the phone. "James."  
  
"Night Dad," he said, putting his hand over the receiver.  
  
"Night," Tad said and then exited the house.  
  
Brooke walked over to the phone and looked at Jamie. "Good night, JR," she hinted at her son.  
  
"Look, JR, I got to go..." Jamie said. "Right."  
  
"I'm going to bed," Brooke told him.  
  
"But it's not even ten o'clock." Jamie said.  
  
"Some of us have to get up for work in the morning," she said. "And some of us... have a math test if I'm not mistaken."  
  
"Yeah. I'm just going to watch TV for a little while and then I'll go to bed."  
  
"Alright," Brooke said. "Not too long though." Jamie nodded. "I'll see you in the morning."  
  
"Goodnight mom," Jamie said. Brooke started upstairs and Jamie walked over to watch some television. He flipped through the channels for about twenty minutes before finding something interesting. He placed the remote control down beside him, and it didn't take long before his eyes began to grow heavy and Jamie fell asleep. 


	3. Chapter Three

"Edmund Grey," Edmund said as he picked up the phone in Brooke's office. "No, she didn't get in yet... I will... I'll make sure she gives you a call." The office door swung inward as Edmund hung up the phone.  
  
"Oh, Edmund," Tad said, surprised not to see Brooke in her office.  
  
"Tad," Edmund stood and walked around the desk towards him. "Nice shiner."  
  
"Thanks for noticing. I went twelve rounds with a soccer ball last night."  
  
"Jamie, huh?" Edmund laughed.  
  
"Yeah." He paused. "Brooke didn't get in yet?"  
  
"No," Edmund said. "I haven't seen her since yesterday afternoon. She didn't seem like herself..."  
  
"She has a lot on her mind." Tad paused. "Could you do me a favor and tell her to give me a call when she gets in?"  
  
"Sure," Edmund said.  
  
"Thanks." Tad turned and left the office. He walked out to his car. As Tad began driving, he decided that he should check in on Brooke. Driving down an extra two blocks and making a right, he pulled into the driveway.  
  
Tad walked up to the front door and began knocking. "Brooke!" he called. "Brooke! I know you're in there." He knocked on the door again. "Come on, Brooke, open up!" He waited. "Are you OK in there? Brooke!" Tad continued knocking. He stepped back as the front door opened. Brooke stood in the doorway, a bit disheveled. "What the hell happened to you?" Tad asked as Brooke moved aside to let him enter.  
  
Brooke tried to flatten out her hair as she shut the door. She walked over to the sofa and took a seat, throwing her feet up.  
  
"You're drunk," Tad said.  
  
"I wish." Brooke moved her feet so that Tad could sit. "I assure you, Tad. Not a drop of alcohol has passed these lips."  
  
"Then what's up, Brooke?" Tad asked. She brought her hands up and rubbed her eyes as Tad leaned forward, grabbing a plaque off of the small table in front of them. "For journalistic excellence." He read the inscription. "I thought the award went down with the plane."  
  
"It did. That's a duplicate they sent a few months later."  
  
Tad placed the award back down and took her hands. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" he asked. "Why are you digging up the past? Just leave it there."  
  
"I can't do that," Brooke said.  
  
"Yes. Yes you can. If this award is driving you nuts, Brooke, pack it away. Throw it in a box and put it in storage."  
  
Brooke laughed softly. "You think that'll make everything miraculously better?"  
  
"It's a start, don't you think?" Tad said. "Out of sight, out of mind."  
  
Brooke stood and walked away from the sofa. "That's exactly what I was thinking."  
  
Tad looked at her silently for a moment, before the point that she was making clicked in his mind. He stood and walked over to her. "You do know that I meant the award, not the magazine?"  
  
"Tempo is at the core of this," Brooke explained. "Get rid of Tempo, get rid of the problem."  
  
"No. Get rid of Tempo, create a larger problem." Tad shook his head, placing his hands on Brooke's arms. "All of the people out of jobs...Edmund's... you can't move on anything without him, right?"  
  
"It's not just this award," Brooke said. "My heart just isn't in it anymore."  
  
"Sure it is," Tad said. "I've never known you to give up on anything that meant so much to you. And Tempo means a lot. Believe me, I know."  
  
"And how's that?"  
  
"I've seen you at work. I've seen the... the amount of passion that you pour into it. The only time I've ever seen you more devoted is with Jamie." Tad released his grasp on her arms. "I know that right now is a really hard time for you, Brooke. But you need to know that I'll be there for you through all of it. Anyway, anywhere, anyhow, I'm here. Alright?"  
  
Brooke nodded as Tad pulled her into an embrace. He brought his right hand up and rested it on the back of her head, combing his fingers down through her hair, before coming to a stop at the back of her neck.  
  
Brooke slowly pulled away, tilting her head back and looking Tad in the eyes. He looked down at her as her arms moved up and her fingers locked behind his neck. Slowly, she pulled his head down, her lips finding their way to his.  
  
Tad's eyebrows raised as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled away, briefly. "What are we doing?" he asked as he rested his head on hers.  
  
Brooke just shook her head, pulling him back down to her. It was almost as if nothing else mattered. The rest of the world and all of their troubles just disappeared as they lost themselves in eachother's arms. 


	4. Chapter Four

The floor of the bedroom looked as though a tornado had passed through it, with clothing strewn about the room.  
  
"Mom!" Jamie's voice could be heard downstairs. "Mom!"  
  
Brooke shot up in bed and looked at the clock. "Oh, God," she said, smacking Tad in the arm. "Get up."  
  
"Mom!" Jamie called. "Is that Dad's car in the driveway?"  
  
"What do we do?" Brooke asked Tad.  
  
"Answer him," Tad said, slipping quickly back into his clothes.  
  
"Mom!"  
  
"We'll be right there," Brooke called to him as she rushed to tuck in her blouse. "How... how was school?"  
  
Brooke turned to Tad. "The button," he said. "You missed a button."  
  
"It was OK," Jamie said, taking a seat on the sofa. "What are you guys doing up there?"  
  
"Your dad's just... helping me get some stuff ready for storage." She looked at Tad again. "Better?"  
  
"Perfect," Tad said. "Now go. Go before he gets suspicious."  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"I'll think of something. Go."  
  
Brooke ran her fingers through her hair as she hurried down the stairs. Tad paused, his tie hanging loosely around his neck as he thought. He walked over to Brooke's closet and swung the door open. He reached his hand up, coming upon a large shoe box. he pulled it down and tossed it on the bed. The top of the box slipped off and the contents caught his eye.  
  
Tad sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled out one of the contents, a slightly discolored newspaper clipping. "FOUR SURVIVE TRANSGLOBAL FLIGHT 149 EXPLOSION," Tad read the headline. He scanned through the article. "...as well as owners of Tempo magazine, Edmund Grey and Brooke English. Among the fatalities is Grey's wife, neurosurgeon, Dr. Maria Santos Grey..."  
  
"Tad?" Tad turned around and saw Brooke standing in the doorway. "What are you doing?"  
  
"I was just looking for a box..."  
  
"You went in my closet?" Brooke asked.  
  
"Don't worry," Tad said. "I didn't peek at any of your unmentionables. Not that it would have made a difference after..." Brooke's eyes widened. Tad picked up the box and stood, walking over to her. "You kept this?" he said. "All of this?" Brooke was silent. "Why? This personally isn't my top choice for clip and save, Brooke." He paused. "At least you didn't pack it away with Jamie's baby shoes and rattle."  
  
"You have no business going through those things."  
  
"I didn't plan it, the box came open."  
  
"Well, you could have closed it," Brooke said. "You didn't have to pry through it."  
  
"Are you looking for a room at Laurel Hill?" Tad asked. "Because you're on the right track if you are."  
  
"Mom!" Jamie called. "I'm outa here!"  
  
Tad grabbed the box and walked out of the bedroom. Brooke followed him downstairs. "Hey, James," Tad said, patting the boy on the back.  
  
"How's your eye?" Jamie asked.  
  
Tad shrugged. "I'll live," he said. "So... You're off to JR's."  
  
"Yeah," Jamie said. "His dad's away at some business meeting. He doesn't want to be stuck in the house with a bunch of women." Tad nodded as Jamie looked at Brooke. "You didn't go to work today?"  
  
"Uh, no," Brooke said. "No. I had some... stuff around here to take care of."  
  
The room was silent. "I'll, uh, give you a ride over there, James," Tad said.  
  
"That's alright," Jamie said. "JR's coming."  
  
Tad nodded. "I guess I'll see you two later then." He headed for the door, but came to a sudden halt, turning around and walking back to the coffee table. He picked up the award and placed it on top of the box. "You'll thank me for this," Tad said. "Trust me." he walked back to the door. "I'll call later. And Jamie... have a good time."  
  
Jamie turned to Brooke as Tad left. "What was that all about?" he asked her.  
  
"Just some old tempo stuff," Brooke said as a car horn beeped. "That's probably JR." Brooke sat down on the sofa. "You should get going."  
  
Jamie bent down and kissed her cheek. "I'll see you on Monday," he said.  
  
Brooke sat back as Jamie ran out of the house. She looked at the clock. It was only about four o'clock. She would probably still be at work right now, she thought.  
  
"Edmund's probably still there," she said as she grabbed her coat and car keys. "What else am I going to do today?"  
  
Brooke left the house and began the drive to Tempo. At least for a few hours she'd be able to lose herself in her work. She'd be able to focus on something other than Tad Martin. 


	5. Chapter Five

"I'm sure she'll be able to reschedule your interview..." Edmund said as he jotted down the message. "Brooke seemed to be coming down with something the last time I saw her... Oh, I will... I will. And I'm sorry for the inconvenience."  
  
Edmund hung up the office phone and leaned back in the chair, swiveling right and left as the office door opened and Brooke walked in and removed her coat.  
  
"Where have you been all day?" Edmund asked.  
  
Brooke jumped. "Edmund," she said. "I didn't see you."  
  
"Did you forget about the Shumaker interview?"  
  
Brooke brought her hands up and ran them through her hair. "That was today? I completely forgot."  
  
"I took care of it. All you have to do is reschedule."  
  
"Edmund, how can I ever thank you?"  
  
"Don't mention it." Edmund stood and walked over to her. "We all need to take days to keep our sanity. Next time though... it would be great to have some notice."  
  
Brooke smiled. "That I can do."  
  
Edmund walked over to the desk and handed Brooke a stack of messages. "When you get towards the bottom... those are the irate ones."  
  
"There were that many?"  
  
Edmund headed for the door. "You have no idea." He swung the door open. "I'm checking out of here early," he said. "Can you hold down the fort for the next few hours?"  
  
"I'm sure I'll be able to handle it," Brooke said, taking a seat at her desk.  
  
"Oh, before I forget," Edmund said, putting on his jacket. "Tad came by early this morning."  
  
"Tad Martin?"  
  
Edmund raised his eyebrows. "You know any other Tads?" He smiled. "He said to have you give him a call."  
  
"Yeah..." Brooke began flipping through her messages. "I'll do that..."  
  
Edmund held the doorknob with his hand. "Brooke, I think we should really sit down and talk... about what's going on with the magazine."  
  
"This is really not a good time for that," Brooke said, picking up the phone and dialing. "Tomorrow, Edmund. OK?" she paused. "MR. Shumaker, this is Brooke English at Tempo magazine..." Brooke put her hand over the receiver. "Go home to your kids, Edmund. Go eat an early dinner or something. I'll be fine here." She went back to the phone. "...Yes, I'm feeling much better, thank you... The piece?.. It will still be featured in the next publication..."  
  
Edmund silently left the office as Brooke continued talking on the phone. He was worried about the future of Tempo even more now than the day before. There had to be a way for him to find out why Brooke's attitude about the magazine had changed so drastically in such a short time. And he wasn't about to give up until he figured it out.  
  
  
  
Tad slipped swiftly passed security at WRCW. "Not another step." Tad froze. He knew that voice. He turned slowly.  
  
"Liza," he said, trying to turn on the charm.  
  
"Don't Liza me," she said. "You'd better have one hell of a good excuse for missing the show today."  
  
Tad dug his tongue into the side of his cheek. "I guess sorry isn't going to cut it, huh?"  
  
"Far from it, Tad," Liza said. "Do you have any idea what we went through down here, five minutes to air with no host?"  
  
"I'm really sorry?"  
  
Liza shook her head. "Where were you?"  
  
Tad bit his bottom lip as he headed towards Liza's office. "Family crisis," he said.  
  
Liza stopped. "God, Tad, is it Jamie? Is he OK?"  
  
"He's fine. Jamie's fine. Everything's under control." They entered the office and Tad sat.  
  
"Why are you here at all then?" Liza asked, walking behind her desk.  
  
"Crisis averted." Tad folded his arms across his chest. "And if it's alright, I'd just like to try to catch up on some of the work..."  
  
"Tad, please," Liza laughed. "You're my best friend. I know you better than anybody."  
  
"What are you trying to say?" Tad asked, leaning forward, resting his arms on Liza's desk.  
  
"Why don't you tell me what's really going on?" 


	6. Chapter Six

"Going on?" Tad stood and began pacing Liza's office. "What do you mean, going on? There's nothing going on."  
  
"Don't lie to me, Tad," Liza said as she approached him, stopping him from pacing. "You look like a tiger in a cage."  
  
"A tiger, huh?" Tad grinned.  
  
"Don't get cute with me," she said. "Don't you realize that just makes it more obvious that something's up?"  
  
"There's nothing..."  
  
Liza grabbed his shoulders. "Can you look me in the eye and tell me that?" she asked. "Look me dead in the eye and tell me there's nothing going on."  
  
Tad stared right at her, grabbing hold of her arms now. "There... is nothing... going on," he said slowly. Liza didn't say anything. "Oh, come on , Liza," Tad said, moving away. "Why would I lie to you?"  
  
"I don't know," Liza said. She walked back to her desk and sat. "Why are you?"  
  
Tad stared at her. "You're really not going to give up on this, are you?"  
  
"When have you known me to give up on anything?" Liza smiled.  
  
Tad took a seat again, slouching back, his arms folded across his chest. "Good point," he said. "But can we just drop this conversation? Take my word for it, Liza. Please." Liza didn't answer him. Tad saw that as a good thing. "So... what did you end up doing about the show? Who'd you get to host?"  
  
"Leo."  
  
Tad laughed. "du Pres? Last minute? How did that work out?"  
  
"Don't underestimate him, Tad," Liza said. "He's got talent... a real knack for television."  
  
"So... what?..."  
  
"So... If you don't show up for another show, it will no longer be The Cutting Edge with Tad Martin."  
  
"I'm not going to make it that easy for Leo du Pres to get this job," Tad said.  
  
"So what are you waiting for?"  
  
"To work," Tad stood. "I've got a show to plan."  
  
Tad turned and started to leave the room. "Hey, Tad?" Liza called. Tad looked back at her. "If you ever need to talk..."  
  
"I know where to find you," he said. "Thanks."  
  
  
  
The house was quiet. Just as quiet as it usually was on a Friday, but the silence of the night was really getting to Brooke. She looked at the clock - 7:45- as she tossed a bag of popcorn into the microwave. She set the time for four minutes before she walked out of the kitchen. She made her way to the television and clicked it on. Brooke kicked off her shoes as she walked over to the sofa and fell back on the seat.  
  
Her hands raised, first rubbing her eyes and then running back through her hair. She took a deep breath, eyes closed, head leaning back against the soft cushions behind her. The silence was only masked now, by the voices on the television and the soft humming of the microwave.  
  
The doorbell rang, causing Brooke to jump. She slowly stood, making her way to the door and easing it open.  
  
"Sorry I'm late," Tad said, walking inside, a medium sized bag in his arms. "The Valley Inn screwed up the order."  
  
Brooke followed him into the kitchen, where he put the bag down. "You're the last person I expected to see tonight," she said.  
  
"Why?" Brooke turned and walked a bit away from him. "Is it about before?"  
  
She stopped, looking back at Tad. "If I stepped over the line earlier..."  
  
Tad paused, lightly taking her arms. "It takes two last time I checked."  
  
"I'm just saying. You were here, and I was dishing out my problems onto you and..."  
  
Unexpectedly, Tad pulled her into him, kissing her deeply, before pulling away. They didn't say a word to eachother. Tad looked down into Brooke's eyes. He lifted his hand and brushed a loose piece of hair back off of her face. She tilted her head back, a look of bliss painted on her face, just as Tad brought his head down again. She threw her arms up over his shoulders, welcoming his romantic advances.  
  
As he swept her off her feet, Brooke erased all of her worries from her mind. Right now, nothing else mattered. 


	7. Chapter Seven

"You sure about this, James?" JR asked. "I can't talk you into a movie or something?"  
  
"It's not going to take hours," Jamie said, turning his key in the door. "I just have to bring the book to Joni down at the hospital."  
  
Jamie and JR walked into the house. "How does she find the time to do all this stuff?" JR asked. "She goes to school, she volunteers at the hospital, she watches the Grey's kids."  
  
"Never has time for anything else though." Jamie dug through his backpack. "You know," he said. "It's not here. I bet I left it at my mom's."  
  
"I guess we're going over there now."  
  
"It'll take ten minutes."  
  
"Fine, fine," JR said. "But then we're going to the movies."  
  
"We'll catch the 11:30 down at the cineplex," Jamie said. "Just let me get the book down to Joni first." The boys left the house and headed for JR's car.  
  
  
  
Tad rolled over in bed, coming face to face with Brooke. He reached over and pushed her hair back behind her ear. She smiled lightly at him as they propped themselves up, the sheets bunched around their bodies. Brooke took a deep breath. She opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't get a word passed her lips. Tad ran his hands over his face.  
  
"We can't keep doing this," Brooke managed to say as she looked over at Tad.  
  
Tad looked at her. "And your reason behind that statement is... what?"  
  
"Jamie's going to wonder why you didn't come home last night."  
  
"Jamie slept over JR's last night," Tad said. "Or did you forget already?"  
  
Brooke reached over and grabbed a robe, slipping it on and climbing out of bed. She paced the floor, almost nervously. "You know..." she said. "I honestly have to admit that something about this whole thing seems so right." Tad eased out of bed and into his pants. "But at the same time... Dixie hasn't even been gone a year, Tad."  
  
"You sure do have a way of killing the moment." Tad sat down on the edge of the bed. Brooke walked around and sat beside him.  
  
She was silent for a moment. "That was hitting you below the belt," she said. "I'm sorry." Tad took a deep breath and leaned forward. Brooke put her arm around him, rubbing her hand up and down his bare back. Tad closed his eyes as Brooke rested her cheek against his shoulder. He lightly kissed the top of her head.  
  
"Why are you questioning this?" Tad asked her.  
  
"You want me to say it again?" Brooke stood. "I'm sorry, Tad, but you loved Dixie more than life." She paused. "I... had an affair with Adam, which nearly caused Mia her life. I'm coming off... I just got annulled, because Edmund's dead wife is alive." Tad stood, approaching Brooke and embracing her. "It just feels like we're getting into this and... with my track record... Dixie... will somehow resurface and... you'll go running back to her, leaving me... right back where I was before this all started." Brooke sniffled. "Alone and miserable."  
  
"Brooke..."  
  
"I can't bear facing heartbreak again, Tad," she said. "I just can't do it."  
  
Tad grabbed her arms and held her away from him, looking her in the eyes. "You're being way too hard on yourself," Tad said. "Way too hard. What did I tell you at Jake and Greenlee's wedding?"  
  
"I know what you said... about the right man for me being right under my nose. And you were right. You were... absolutely, 100% correct. Right under my nose the whole time. But Tad, I can't do this... I don't feel right doing this."  
  
"Dixie's not coming back, Brooke," Tad said.  
  
"This is Pine Valley," she said. "I've seen the dead resurrected quite a few times." she paused. "God Tad. Even with you."  
  
"But I wasn't dead."  
  
"You go off a bridge and your body never turns up... that's dead, Tad. For years, you were dead. But yet... here you are living walking, breathing..."  
  
"You're really starting to make no sense at all." Tad said.  
  
"OK," Brooke said. "Then tell me. If that happened. If one day, it turned out that Dixie was alive... after what we've been through... would you go back to her?" Tad didn't answer. Brooke sighed. "That's why this can't go any further. It's obvious what your heart wants, Tad, and she's not the one standing in this room with you right now." Tad was silent. "I think you should go." Tad opened his mouth to speak. "Don't argue," Brooke tried to remain calm. "Just go."  
  
Tad didn't move for a moment, but then slowly collected his belongings and exited the bedroom. He continued to dress as he walked downstairs. He managed to get his shoes on. His tie hung around his neck, his jacket in his arms, his shirt half open as he swung open the front door.  
  
"Dad?" Jamie said, holding his key in his hand. Tad was almost oblivious to his son, only patting him quickly on the back as he walked to his car. "What was that all about?"  
  
"I'd tell you what I think, but I'm not sure it would blow over well." JR said as the boys turned and watched Tad pull out and drive away. 


	8. Chapter Eight

Brooke sat behind her desk at Tempo. She twisted a pencil around with her fingers, staring blankly forward, supporting her head with her left hand.  
  
"Hello? Brooke?" Edmund said, waving his hand in front of her face. "Did you hear a word of what I just said?"  
  
"What?" Brooke asked, running her fingers back through her hair. Edmund raised his eyebrows, sitting on the edge of her desk. "I'm sorry, Edmund. My head just isn't in this today."  
  
"You've been like this for days," he said. "Distant, disconnected."  
  
"I have a lot going on right now. My mind is all over the place," she said and then paused. "I'm all ears. What were you saying?"  
  
Edmund stood. "It's beginning to look better and better about this award. The piece we did on Proteus..." Brooke felt herself grow sick to her stomach at the mention of the award. "Are you alright, Brooke?" Edmund asked. "I've never seen that shade of green before." Brooke rubbed her eyes. "Can we do this some other time?" she asked.  
  
"We've been putting this off for..."  
  
"Please... Edmund."  
  
Edmund put his hands down on the desk, leaning towards her. "What's going on with you?" he asked.  
  
"It's a personal matter," Brooke said. "I'd rather not talk about it."  
  
"Well, it must be hitting you pretty hard for it to be affecting your work," he said. "Brooke, I know you. You leave your problems at home, you never brought them to work."  
  
"Yeah, well I guess this is different," she said.  
  
"How so?" Edmund asked her.  
  
Brooke let out a deep breath. "What part of 'I don't want to talk about it' don't you understand?"  
  
Edmund sat back down on the edge of her desk. "The 'don't'," he said.  
  
Brooke couldn't help but crack a smile as she shook her head. "Really, Edmund," she said. "I just really don't want..."  
  
"You don't want to talk about it," he said. "OK." Brooke looked down at a stack of papers on her desk. "I'll tell you what," Edmund continued. "I'll buy you lunch."  
  
"Edmund, there's a lot of stuff..."  
  
"You need a break," he said. "I won't take no for an answer." He paused. "Just to get out of the office for a while."  
  
Brooke took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "OK," she said. "I'll let you buy me lunch." Brooke stood. "Where to?"  
  
"BJ's sound good?" Edmund asked.  
  
"Sounds good to me."  
  
  
  
The doorbell rang at 646 Holland Avenue. It rang more than once before the pounding began. "Tad!" Liza called. "Tad Martin! You'd better be dead in there, or I swear to God, I'll kill you myself." Liza continued pounding on the door. "Tad! Open this door!" She paused. "Don't make me break in, you know I will." Liza stepped back as the door swung open. Tad stood in the doorway, looking somewhat ragged and unshaven. "You look like hell," she said.  
  
"That means a lot coming from you," Tad said as he moved aside and Liza entered.  
  
"Have you turned your phone off or something?" Liza asked.  
  
"I saw Leo on television yesterday," Tad said, sitting back down on the sofa. "You were right about him. He has a real TV presence." He paused as Liza sat down beside him. "Well, don't keep me in suspense, Liza," he said. "Why did you come here?"  
  
"To find out why you haven't shown up for work in days," Liza said. "Your phone's off the hook, you haven't returned any of my messages I left on your cell..." she paused. "What the hell happened?"  
  
Tad shook his head, running his hands over the stubs of hair on his face. "I'm going for a new look," Tad said. "You don't like it?" Liza was silent. She had a disapproving look on her face. "I don't think I've ever felt like this before," he admitted.  
  
"What happened?" Tad didn't answer. "You can tell me, tad. I'm the last person who would judge you." Tad still didn't answer her. "OK, don't tell me," Liza looked at him dead on. "Who was it?" she asked after a moment.  
  
"Excuse me?" Tad said.  
  
"The expression on your face. It's a cross between guilt and lost bliss," she said. "So who'd you sleep with?"  
  
Tad stood. "Geez, Liza. Don't be shy about it. Just come right out and ask."  
  
"So..."  
  
"So... I really don't think that's any of your business," he paused. "Besides... I messed the whole thing up." Liza leaned forward, listening intently. Tad could see in her eyes that she was honestly concerned. "I thought I was OK with it..." he continued. "I was... OK with it. But then she asked me about Dixie. What if she really isn't gone... what if she came back... would I go back to her... to Dixie?"  
  
"Well what did you say?"  
  
"That's just it. I didn't say a thing. Not a word." He paused. "I think I screwed up what could have been a good thing."  
  
"It hasn't been a very long time," Liza said. "Maybe you're not ready to move on in love." Liza stood and walked up to him. "You're still so... stricken with grief, having lost the one person who meant more to you than life. Maybe you just can't move on."  
  
"What are you a shrink now, Liza?" Tad asked.  
  
"Maybe you do need somebody to talk to."  
  
"Oh, no," Tad said. "No, no. I don't need a shrink."  
  
"She's not a shrink," Liza said, grabbing a piece of paper out of her purse and writing down the name and number. "Well, she is, but... you'll see for yourself." Liza handed Tad the paper. "I speak from personal experience, Tad. She's helping me and Adam put our marriage back together."  
  
"If she can do that..." Tad said softly. Liza smacked him in the arm. "Oww. Alright, I'll call her. What have I got to lose?" 


	9. Chapter Nine

Jamie and JR sat in the boathouse of the Chandler Mansion. "I don't believe it," JR said. "I mean, sure, that's what I thought when we saw him leaving your mom's."  
  
"She's been acting weird ever since then, "Jamie said. "It's almost like when she found out Maria Grey was still alive. It broke her heart," he paused. "I'll never forget the look on her face."  
  
"So..."  
  
"They can't be..." Jamie said. "My dad's still torn up over your mom."  
  
"All I'm saying is, you know what we saw," JR said.  
  
Jamie took a deep breath. "Sure," he said. "But is what we saw really what we saw?"  
  
"What?" JR said. "You mean did tad actually come flying out of your mom's half dressed?"  
  
"No. There has to be some other explanation."  
  
JR walked out of the boathouse. "Yeah, well when you figure it out, let me know."  
  
"Where are you going?" Jamie asked, standing.  
  
"This conversation is getting to be a drag," he said. "I'm going to hit the mall."  
  
Jamie watched him walk away a bit more. "Wait up!" he called. "I'm coming with you. At least it'll get me away from this for a while."  
  
  
  
Tad stood outside the door, a piece of paper in his hand with an address written on it. He glanced down at the paper and then at the number on the door.  
  
"I don't believe I'm doing this," he said. "This is crazy." tad shook his head as he knocked on the door. There was no answer so he tried the doorknob. It turned and he slowly pushed his way inside.  
  
"Hello?" Tad said as he shut the door behind him.  
  
"You're late," an almost annoying, squeaky voice came from another room. Tad didn't know what to make of it. "Have a seat."  
  
Tad considered turning around and walking out, but instead took a seat. He waited impatiently, shaking his leg up and down as the woman appeared. Tad tried had to contain himself as he caught a glimpse of her sixtyesque style. "You're Lysis..."  
  
"Lysistrata," she said. "And you're Tad Martin. So now that we've gotten aquatinted, why don't we start." Tad raised his eyebrows. "Why are you here?"  
  
Tad let out a soft chuckle. "Aren't you supposed to figure that out?"  
  
"I'm a therapist, sweetie, not a mind reader." Lysistrata said.  
  
Tad's jaw dropped slightly. "OK, I can work with that," he said. "So is this the part where I lay down on the little couch, throw my feet up and tell you all the problems I bring to bed with me at night?"  
  
"Is that what you came to talk about?" she asked. Tad raised his eyebrows again as Lysistrata leaned back, put her feel up and crossed them at the ankles. "Your sex life?"  
  
Tad was caught off guard. "I didn't say anything about..."  
  
"Bringing your problems to bed at night?" Lysistrata said. "That's an interesting way of putting it. So... are you going to tell me why this is such a 'problem'?" Tad was silent. "It's your time that's wasting."  
  
"You must be a barrel of fun, picking at Liza and Adam's marriage," he paused. "I'm only here because Liza thought I needed somebody to talk to."  
  
"And do you always take Liza's advice?"  
  
Tad thought. "Yeah, I guess."  
  
"Yeah? Or you guess?" she asked.  
  
"Most of the time," Tad replied, shaking his head. "What difference does that make? Liza's a friend."  
  
"That's all?"  
  
"Yes, that's all." He paused and looked at her. Lysistrata had a strange look on her face. "You think I'm sleeping with Liza! I am not sleeping with Liza!"  
  
"Do you want to?"  
  
"No!" Tad exclaimed. "We were there... once... a long time ago, but that was it."  
  
"So it ended with Liza." Lysistrata said. "Why?.. There was somebody else?"  
  
Tad sank back in his seat. "My wife," he said. "There was Dixie."  
  
"Tell me about Dixie."  
  
Tad's face was a mixture of emotions as he thought of her. "Dixie was... smart, she was so beautiful. She... was the greatest thing that ever happened to me."  
  
"You say 'she was'."  
  
"She... died," Tad paused to take breath. "In May. A car accident in Switzerland."  
  
Lysistrata leaned forward. "And how did that make you feel?"  
  
"How did that make me feel?" Tad stood. "I had my wife and unborn daughter ripped away from me! What do you think that feels like?"  
  
"And now you think your life is over too, just because Dixie's is?" tad silently bit his bottom lip. "You might as well be dead yourself."  
  
"I wished that for a while," Tad said. "Yeah."  
  
"No," Lysistrata said. "You're still wishing it." She paused. "So... this woman. When you're with her, you're reminded about Dixie?"  
  
"No," Tad said. "She doesn't remind me of Dixie."  
  
"I didn't say she reminded you of Dixie. I said about Dixie. now think harder."  
  
Tad took a deep breath and sat as the whole scenario of Dixie's death replayed in his head. All he kept hearing over and over was Brooke's voice telling him that Dixie was gone. "I never thought about it," Tad admitted.  
  
"How does she remind you about Dixie?"  
  
Tad sat on the edge of the seat. The details of that day continued to flood his mind. He could remember the exact conversation with Brooke on the plane...  
  
**"What the hell is wrong?" Tad asked as he looked over from his window seat and Brooke took a seat next to him on the plane.  
  
"Tad," she said, "After you left for the airport, Opal came by."  
  
"What about her?" Tad grew nervous. "Tell me what... she's alright?"  
  
"She's fine. She's fine. Dixie's sister, she... Lanie called from Paris. She couldn't reach you."  
  
"She lost the baby," Tad said still obviously nervous.  
  
"There was an accident." Brooke said. "A car accident. They're sure exactly what happened."  
  
"How bad is she hurt?" Tad asked.  
  
"The Swiss police think that she lost control somehow and... and the car went over the embankment."  
  
Tad shook his head. "No," he said. "No. No."  
  
"Maam?" a flight attendant approached Brooke. "Is everything OK?"  
  
"Five more minutes, please," Brooke said before turning back to Tad. "Tad, we have to get off the plane. I'll drive you back home, OK? Because Opal's waiting."  
  
"You mean just leave her there?" Tad said.  
  
"The Swiss authorities..."  
  
"The Swiss authorities don't know Dixie, alright? They don't know my wife. They don't know what she's capable of. She's hurt She needs me. I'm going to..."  
  
"There's nothing that you can do," Brooke interrupted him.  
  
"You got to understand," Tad continued. "All the times I told Dixie that I would be there to protect her... I never showed up. I have to be there for her now."  
  
"Of course you do."  
  
The flight attendant approached them again. "I am so sorry. The tower radioed the captain. He's aware of your situation, but he still insists that you deplane immediately. Maam?"  
  
"This is my passport and gold card." Brooke said, going into her purse.  
  
"I'm sorry?"  
  
"Can you add me to the passenger list?" Brooke asked. "I really need to accompany my friend to Zurich."  
  
"You can't," Tad said. "What about Jamie?"  
  
"He'll be fine." Brooke assured him. "He'll be fine, OK?"**  
  
Tad took a deep breath once again. "She was the one who told me," he said to Lysistrata. "She was the one who told me that Dixie was gone."  
  
Lysistrata nodded. "It's about time," she said as Tad brought his hand up and rubbed his eyes. "Now we're getting somewhere." 


	10. Chapter Ten

"That's all we have for today. For The Cutting Edge, I'm Tad Martin."  
  
"And we're clear!"  
  
Tad stood and walked off the set, loosening his tie. "I'm out of here!" he said.  
  
"Tad!" Liza called, following after him. Tad stopped. "Did you go?"  
  
"To the shrink?" Tad laughed. "That woman is a nut. Where did you find her anyway?"  
  
Liza shook her head. "She was the only one who would work with us." she paused. "Well, is she helping?"  
  
"I'm not sure yet," he said. "All she really made me say was what I already knew. that I'm upset that Dixie's gone. We set up another appointment. I guess that's a start, huh?"  
  
"It'll work out," Liza said. "Trust me."  
  
Tad put his hand on Liza's shoulder. "I'll see you in the morning?"  
  
Liza smiled as Tad turned and left the studio. He took his car keys out of his pocket once he stepped outside. Turning to his right, he came to an abrupt stop.  
  
"Brooke?" Tad said. Brooke was standing directly in front of him, her eyes red and her face tear stained.  
  
"I didn't know where else to go," Brooke said. "I didn't know." Brooke fell into his arms, sobbing.  
  
Tad put his arms around her, rubbing her back. "Shh," he said. "It's OK. What happened?"  
  
Brooke rested her cheek up against his chest. "I can't." she said. ".do it again. I can't."  
  
"You can't do what?" he asked. "Brooke."  
  
"We got it, Tad," Brooke said. "Tempo. got the award." Brooke grabbed the back of his jacket in her hands. "I can't go to New York, I can't."  
  
"Shh." Tad brought his hand up to the back of her head. "It's going to be alright. It's going to be OK, alright? I promise. We'll make this OK. I'll help you through it. I promise." Tad could feel Brooke quiver. "Come on," he said. "You can't drive like this, I'll take you home." He put his arm around her waist and began to lead her to the car. He opened the passenger side door and helped her in before walking around to the driver's side and getting in himself. Tad started the engine and began driving. At points, he would cast a glance over at Brooke, who was just looking out the window at the passing objects. They were both silent as they pulled into Brooke's driveway.  
  
Tad helped Brooke into the house and slowly over to the sofa. He then made his way into the kitchen, returning with a glass of water. He handed it to Brooke, who took a sip, and then placed it down on a coaster on the table in front of them.  
  
Brooke wiped her eyes. "You must think I'm one sorry soul," she said.  
  
"No," Tad said, putting his arm around her shoulder, gently squeezing. "Why would I think that? I know how you feel about this whole thing."  
  
"But this is paranoid, right?"  
  
Tad put his hand on the side of her head, easing it down so that it rested on his shoulder. "It's alright," he soothed her. He rested his chin on the top of her head.  
  
"But..."  
  
"No 'buts'," Tad said. "I told you we'd take things as they came, didn't I? I promised I'd be there for you and I'm not going anywhere, no matter what." 


	11. Chapter Eleven

"Wait, hold on," Jamie said as he sat in the library with Joni. "Back up a minute. Are you saying you use the distance to find the velocity?"  
  
"I'll show you again," Joni said, moving closer to write on his paper. "You have the distance the object traveled. and you have the height of the building... here. See?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"So, you just do this." Joni wrote down the equation. "Plug in the numbers and you'll get the velocity."  
  
"That's it?" Jamie said.  
  
"That's it." Joni smiled. "Easy, right?"  
  
"Yeah, now it is."  
  
"I told you." Joni looked up. "JR."  
  
JR approached the table. "Tell me you've seen Tad today." JR said.  
  
"No," Jamie said. "He was gone when I got up this morning. He probably went to work early."  
  
"Think again. Liza's running around pitching a fit."  
  
"He didn't show up?"  
  
"You should hear her. Tad's going to lose his job, Liza's going to fir him"  
  
"No way!" Jamie said. He thought. "Maybe my mom knows where he is. We could go down to Tempo right now." Jamie looked over at Joni. "Do you want to come along?"  
  
Joni shook her head. "I'll wait here for Laurie," she said. "You two go ahead."  
  
"Alright, let's go," Jamie said as he and JR left the library.  
  
  
  
Brooke walked downstairs, rubbing a towel over her wet hair. She didn't have time to blow-dry it, she was already running late. As she passed the sofa, she did a double take.  
  
"Tad?" she said, walking over to the sofa and nudging him with her knee.  
  
Tad stirred, easing open his eyes. He slowly sat. "You're up," he said with a yawn, stretching his back.  
  
"You slept down here all night?"  
  
"I couldn't just leave you alone," Tad said as Brooke sat down beside him. "I was worried about you."  
  
"But Jamie..."  
  
"Jamie's a big boy, Brooke," Tad interrupted her. "He's more than capable of staying in a house by himself."  
  
"He had to wonder..."  
  
"Don't worry about Jamie or what's going through his mind," he paused. "He cares about you... and I think he would be glad to know that I do too." Tad laughed. "I don't spend the night on just anyone's sofa, you know."  
  
"He's been hurt before," she said. "First with me and Edmund, then with..."  
  
"Adam," Tad said. "Brooke, you're beating yourself up over..."  
  
"All the mistakes I made in my life?"  
  
"I'll admit to you that the affair with Adam Chandler was a mistake."  
  
"And Edmund?" Brooke said. "I kept him from his wife, Tad."  
  
"You loved him..."  
  
"And he loved her. I destroyed his life. I destroyed his family's life... her family's life..."  
  
"But you tried to make it right in the end." Tad paused. "Besides... David Hayward is much more to blame for destroying anyone's life than you'll ever be."  
  
"When I didn't say anything to Edmund... it was just like I had drugged Maria myself."  
  
"You tried to save her."  
  
"It should have been me who was stuck in that seat... It should have been me who David found on that beach."  
  
"Stop," Tad said.  
  
"I was worried about Laura," she continued. ""I had to come back... If we had just kept the flight we were supposed to take..."  
  
"You were worried about Laura," Tad said. "You did what any good mother would have done. There was no way of knowing that the plane would go down. You know that what happened is not your fault. So don't try to work it out that way."  
  
"It's just..." Brooke took a deep breath. "It's just that I think back to everything that happened... and I'm afraid that it'll all happen again."  
  
"What are the odds of that?" Tad asked. Brooke pursed her lips silently. Tad reached over and took her hand. "It's not going to happen again, Brooke," he said. "You can do this. You have to get on that plane." He paused. "I'll come with you. I'll take the seat right next to you, I'll hold your hand the whole way to New York and the whole way back." Brooke looked over at him. "Everything will be fine." Tad leaned over and kissed her forehead. "It will." 


	12. Chapter Twelve

Tad sat on the edge of his sofa, trying to pull up some files on his laptop as the front door opened and Jamie entered, dropping his backpack on the floor. Tad looked up. "James." he said. "I would have gone to Mom's to pick you up."  
  
"It's 4:30, Dad," Jamie said. Tad looked at his watch. "Mom just dropped me off."  
  
"Jamie." Tad stood. "I'm so sorry. Liza has me working double..."  
  
"Dad... Dad. It's alright. Really, it's OK."  
  
"Your Mom's not still out there, is she?"  
  
"No, she just dropped me off and left."  
  
"Oh," Tad said, sitting back down.  
  
Jamie stood motionless for a moment in thought before walking over to the sofa and taking a seat next to Tad. He didn't say a word.  
  
Tad looked over at him. "Is there something on your mind, James?"  
  
"I uh..." Jamie thought. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
Tad stopped what he was doing. "Sure, anything."  
  
"It's kind of personal..." Jamie warned him. Tad nodded. "Are you and Mom getting back together?" Tad was speechless. "Are you?"  
  
"What makes you ask that?" Tad said.  
  
"I'm just... You guys have been spending a lot of time together lately. I was just wondering if there was a chance..."  
  
Tad leaned back in his seat. "Your Mom's been going through a lot."  
  
"So you're not?"  
  
"As soon as I figure out what's going on, I'll let you know, OK?"  
  
"Is this a possibility at least?"  
  
"Jamie." Tad said. "I know how hard you were trying to get your Mom and me back together, before she married Edmund."  
  
"It didn't do much, did it?" Jamie asked.  
  
"She loved him."  
  
"No, Dad. She loved you. She always loved you. She never stopped loving you."  
  
"Jamie, come on now..."  
  
"You don't think it's true?" Jamie said. "I could only imagine what happened that day that me and JR ran into you at Mom's... But after you left... she just wasn't the same. It was like her life was falling apart again... like when Maria came back. I'll never forget that look for as long as I live. It's almost like she thinks it's happening again. Like she's going to get hurt..."  
  
"You know that I would never hurt her," Tad said. "I wouldn't do that."  
  
Jamie paused. "Can I ask you one more thing?" he looked at Tad. "Do you love her?"  
  
  
  
"Well do you?" Lysistrata asked. Tad stood and began pacing the room. She leaned back in her seat. "Do you realize that you still haven't mentioned her name?" Tad didn't answer her. "Is there a reason you haven't mentioned her name?"  
  
"No," Tad said.  
  
"I think there is."  
  
Tad shook his head and sat back down. "If you already knew the answer, then why did you ask?"  
  
"That's what you're paying me for, isn't it?" Lysistrata asked. "So, what's her name?"  
  
"I don't see why her name is so important," Tad said, putting his feet up.  
  
"You do know her name?"  
  
"Of course I do. It's not like I spend my evenings standing on a street corner looking for any warm body to take to bed at night."  
  
"So it's a security thing?" Lysistrata said. "A form of protection."  
  
"Just because I don't mention her name, I'm protecting myself?"  
  
"Wake up, Tad! She's the one you think needs protection! Why does she need to be shielded from the world?" Tad was silent as he shook his head. "You're trying to protect her from something. What is it? Think!"  
  
"Uh, I don't know. Heartbreak, self destruction..."  
  
"And you think that it's your responsibility to protect her from these things. Why?"  
  
"I owe it to her to..."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"She's been there for..."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I love her!" Tad said, standing from his seat. Lysistrata looked at him silently, a strange smirk on her face. Tad lowered his tone drastically as he sat again. "I'm in love with her."  
  
"You're in love with her... but you still think she needs to be protected from a broken heart. You think you're going to break her heart?"  
  
"I don't think she's ready to trust anyone again yet."  
  
"Can she trust you?" she asked. "Or are you afraid of the same thing?"  
  
"Afraid of what?" Tad leaned forward.  
  
"Are you afraid of heartbreak?" Tad was silent. "You see, the way these sessions usually work is, I ask the question and you answer it."  
  
"I feel like I'm jumping the gun with this. Opening her up to all types of things."  
  
"Like comparing her to Dixie?"  
  
"I don't..." Tad said.  
  
"I don't think you're just worried about her being able to move forward," Lysistrata said. "You still haven't let go of Dixie. And until you do that, she's not the one who's going to have to deal with heartache. You are." She paused. "You said that Dixie died in May."  
  
Tad nodded. "Brooke knows how I felt about Dixie."  
  
"Alright, we have a name," Lysistrata cheered. "So is Brooke urging you to hold onto Dixie?"  
  
"No," Tad said.  
  
"But Dixie is holding you back." Tad bit his bottom lip. "Try taking a page from her book. She seemed to be a free spirit. She lived her life... don't let her hold you back. Until you do that," Lysistrata stood. "I can't do anything else for you." 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Brooke placed her car keys in her purse as she walked into Tempo. She made her way passed Edmund's office, peering in and seeing him sitting behind his desk, sipping a cup of coffee.  
  
"Hey," she said, entering the office.  
  
"You're here early," Edmund said.  
  
"Look who's talking." Brooke stood in front of his desk. "What time did you get here?" She noticed over in the corner of the office a shirt and a pair of slacks. "Don't tell me you slept here." Edmund rubbed his eyes. "What happened?"  
  
Edmund leaned back in his chair. "She's gone," he said.  
  
"She's gone?" Brooke asked. "What do you mean she's gone? Who's gone? Maria?"  
  
"She's not Maria."  
  
"I thought everything was working out fine with you two."  
  
"I thought it was," Edmund said, running his hands back on his head. "She doesn't remember... anything. She doesn't want to remember. She wants to be... this new woman, this Maureen Gorman."  
  
"She was remembering." Brooke walked behind the desk and stood next to Edmund. "Don't give up on her, Edmund. All the research we've done..."  
  
"All the research only showed that she may never get her memory back."  
  
"Why are you just giving up on this? After everything you've tried. What happened with you two?" Edmund shook his head. Brooke lightly squeezed his shoulder. He looked up at her. "If you want to talk..." Edmund lifted his hand to his shoulder, covering hers. He nodded. "Why don't you go home? Go home, Edmund, get some rest. I'll cover everything around here."  
  
"Thanks, Brooke," Edmund said, "But... I think I'll stick around. I have some stuff to catch up on."  
  
Brooke nodded. "If you need me, you know where my office is... the door is always open." She paused, smiling weakly before she slowly made her way to the office door.  
  
"Oh, Brooke," Edmund called. Brooke turned to face him He went into his desk drawer as she walked up to him again. "Here." Edmund handed her two plane tickets.  
  
Brooke's hear skipped a beat. She was sure her hand was shaking as she reached out to take the tickets from Edmund.  
  
"You decided to take Jamie?" he asked her. Brooke's mouth was open slightly as she shook her head. "But you got two tickets."  
  
"Tad..." Brooke said without thinking. "Tad's going to come with me."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yeah, well... uh..." Brooke stammered. "I should get to work." She took hold of the tickets. "Thanks."  
  
Edmund nodded as Brooke turned and left his office. She walked down the hall, stopping briefly at the water cooler. She took a drink, trying to calm herself as the cold water slid down her throat. She ran her hand over her face.  
  
"Miss English?" Brooke looked up at one of the interns coming towards her. "Miss English, Mrs. Chandler is in your office."  
  
Brooke was shocked. "Mrs... Chandler?"  
  
"Yes Ma'am."  
  
Brooke nodded, still a bit confused. "Thanks," she said as the intern turned and walked away from her. Brooke paused, thinking for a moment before entering her office.  
  
"Liza," Brooke said as she shut the office door behind her. She took a seat behind her desk. "I was under the impression that I'm the last person you'd want to see."  
  
"What ever would have given you that idea?" Liza said sarcastically. "You only slept with my husband."  
  
"Did you come to read me the riot act, Liza?" Brooke asked. "Because I could do without that today. really I could."  
  
Liza sat, shaking her head. "I'm not here about Adam," she said. "And I personally don't want to be reminded about what happened between you two." She paused. "I'm here about Tad."  
  
"What about Tad?"  
  
"I know that you two are close." she said. "Tad is my best friend... but, he's been... he's been going through a lot lately, you know." Brooke nodded. She knew all too well what Tad was going through. "I'm worried about him," Liza said. "It's been almost a year since Dixie died, but he's really not getting any better."  
  
"What can we do about it?" Brooke said. "We've all tried to help him deal with what happened..."  
  
"I tried talking to him. I called him this morning, I went over there. He's not answering his phone or his door."  
  
"You want me to try?"  
  
"You must be just as worried as I am."  
  
"I'll try," Brooke said. "If Tad's on one of his depression... I don't know if anyone will get through to him." She paused. "I'll try though."  
  
Liza stood and nodded. "Please let me know if you get through."  
  
"I will," Brooke said. There was silence for a moment before Liza turned and left the office. Brooke leaned back in her chair, pausing and taking a deep breath, before she stood. She grabbed her jacket and her car keys and left the office. 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Brooke stood outside 646 Holland Avenue, banging on the door. After a while, Brooke stepped back, looking for a hide-a-key. She knew that Tad must have had a spare. It didn't take long for her to find it. Taking the key and putting it in the front door, she entered the house.  
  
"Tad!" Brooke called, closing the door. She stopped short, looking around the room. On the floor were a number of different sized cardboard boxes, each one labeled in capital letters... DIXIE.  
  
Brooke walked further into the room and saw Tad sitting on the floor, his back leaning against the wall. "Tad," she said. He looked up at her as Brooke sank down to sit on the floor beside him.  
  
"I had to pack some of these away," he said.  
  
"You should have called." Brooke looked at him. "I would have helped you with this..."  
  
"I needed to do this on my own." Brooke rested her head back against the wall. "I think it's time to move forward... to try at least."  
  
"All of a sudden?" Brooke asked.  
  
Tad shrugged, sitting in silence. After a moment, he reached his hand out, resting it on hers, weaving their fingers. He brought her hand up to his face. "I don't want to hurt you, Brooke."  
  
"I know that," Brooke said.  
  
"... But when you asked me about Dixie... I know that I hurt you when I..."  
  
"Tad... I shouldn't have brought her up."  
  
"You've had your heart broken before. You don't deserve that. You deserve to be happy. I want to make you happy. I don't want you to have to worry about anything."  
  
"But you do make me happy," Brooke said. "Tad, with you... with you, I'm happier than I have been in a long time." She paused. "You've done so much more me through everything..."  
  
"I love you, Brooke," Tad exclaimed, interrupting her. Brooke's mouth hung open just slightly. He paused, leaning his head back.  
  
Brooke turned herself, facing him. "Tad."  
  
"Brooke, I'm..." Tad trailed off as Brooke took her hand and brought it up, cupping his cheek. Tad lightly covered her hand. They gazed into eachother's eyes. She shook her head gently, telling him not to speak as she moved her hand to the back of his neck, pulling his head down. Their lips met and Tad took hold of her shoulders. Brooke pulled away from him with a smile on her face. Tad eased his fingers back through her hair, before running them over her face.  
  
There was silence as Tad moved Brooke to sit on the floor in front of him. She leaned back, resting against him, her head on his chest. Tad wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing the top of her head.  
  
After a while, Tad spoke. "You're OK with this?"  
  
"I should be the one asking you that." Brooke paused. "Let's just agree that we're both facing a lot right now."  
  
"We're jumping into this too fast?"  
  
"No, no," she said. "I just don't want this to crash and burn... just like all of my other..."  
  
"I'm here to stay, Brooke. I'm not going anywhere. You can count on that."  
  
Brooke smiled, remembering back to Jake and Greenlee's wedding. "Right under my nose," she said.  
  
Tad rested his chin on the top of her head. "The whole time." Brooke smiled, shutting her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere." Brooke took a deep breath, leaning forward and going into her purse. She handed Tad the plane ticket. "How are you about this?" Tad asked.  
  
Brooke shook her head. "I don't know how well it's going to go over when I get on that plane."  
  
"You'll be fine," Tad said. "You've flown since the crash. Nothing has happened."  
  
"It's just the circumstances I guess."  
  
"We can deal with the circumstances, OK?" Tad smiled and took her hands. "Edmund's taking Maria, isn't he?"  
  
Brooke shook her head. "I don't know," she admitted. "They have some stuff going on with them right now."  
  
"So it might be just the three of us," Tad said. "That would be OK, right?" Brooke nodded. "Don't worry, Brooke. Please don't worry, OK?" He kissed the top of her head. "I swear to you. Everything is going to be fine." 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

"Do you really have to go, Daddy?" Maddie asked as Edmund stood by the front door with his suitcase and laptop. "I don't want you to go. I'm gonna miss you."  
  
Edmund put his things down and scooped the little girl up in his arms. "I'm going to miss you too, honey." he said. "But I'm going to be back really soon. I promise."  
  
"Are you going to bring Mommy back with you?" Edmund didn't know what to say. "Doesn't she love us anymore?"  
  
"Of course she loves you," Edmund said. "She loves you very much. Mommy's just... she has to take a little more time... to remember more."  
  
"Why can't she do it here?"  
  
Edmund bit his bottom lip. "Mommy's a little confused right now, but she's going to get better, OK." He kissed the little girl's head and put her back on the floor.  
  
"And we'll all be together again?"  
  
"Sure we will," he assured the child. Edmund crouched down in front of her. "I'll call you and Sammie every night."  
  
"Can Mommy Brooke call too?"  
  
Edmund sighed. "Of course." He paused, embracing his daughter. "Be good for abuela, OK?"  
  
"I promise," Maddie said. "I love you, daddy."  
  
"I love you too, baby." Edmund stood and grabbed his things. "I'll be home really soon." The little girl nodded. Edmund stood there for a moment, looking down at her, before leaving Wildwind.  
  
  
  
"Are you going to be OK with this, Mom?" Jamie asked as he stood with Brooke in the airport terminal.  
  
"I think so," Brooke said. "Your Dad's coming." Jamie didn't say anything. "Don't worry, Jamie," Brooke said. "I'll be alright." The fear was still obvious in her voice. Jamie raised his eyebrows. "I will. Here comes Edmund."  
  
Jamie turned and saw Edmund approaching. "Are we all set to go?" Edmund said. "Hi, Jamie."  
  
Jamie didn't answer him. "I'll call you as soon as we're in New York, OK?" Brooke said as Jamie nodded. Brooke pulled him into an embrace. "Don't give Jake and Greenlee a hard time."  
  
"I won't, I'm not a baby."  
  
"You're my baby."  
  
"Mom," Jamie said. "You're smothering me."  
  
Brooke pulled away from him, holding his arms. She managed a smiled. "I love you, Jamie."  
  
"I love you too, Mom." Jamie said. Brooke cupped his cheek. "Don't worry, OK." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I'll be at the library with Joni. I'll leave my cellphone on." He paused. "I'll see you at the end of the week." Brooke nodded. "I'll let you get on the plane," Jamie said, kissing her cheek once again before walking away.  
  
Brooke looked at Edmund. "It's nothing personal," she said. "With Jamie, I mean."  
  
"He's upset," Edmund said. "I don't take offense." He took Brooke's arms. "Are you alright?" Brooke nodded. "We should get on the plane."  
  
"Tad's not here yet," Brooke said.  
  
"I'm sure he's on his way. Come on." Brooke looked at her watch. "He's coming." Edmund put his hand on her lower back and led her on to the plane.  
  
They made their way to their seats. Edmund sat a few rows up from Brooke, an empty seat beside both of them. Edmund's would remain empty, but as Brooke looked down at her watch, she hoped that the seat beside her wouldn't remain empty too. Tad was playing it awful close.  
  
Brooke shifted in her seat as the announcement came from the flight attendant for the passengers to prepare for take off. Brooke shook her head, standing from her seat and walking up the aisle.  
  
"You need to take your seat, Ma'am." the flight attendant said.  
  
"I need to get off this plane."  
  
Edmund jumped to his feet and approached Brooke. "Brooke?" he put his hands on her shoulders. "Brooke, what's wrong?"  
  
"I have to get off." she said, nervously. "I... I think I'm going to be sick."  
  
"Here, sit." Edmund helped her down into an empty seat. "Just give us five minutes, OK?" he asked the flight attendant. She walked off to notify the pilot as Edmund kneeled down beside Brooke. "Are you OK?" he asked her. Brooke took a few deep breaths. "That's it, deep breaths."  
  
"What happened?" Edmund and Brooke looked up and saw Tad standing there.  
  
"She had a panic attack or something." Edmund said.  
  
Edmund stood and Tad took his place kneeling. He rubbed Brooke's arm. "Can we get some water over here for her?" Tad called.  
  
"I'll be fine." Brooke said. "I'm fine."  
  
"This is what you call fine?" Tad asked. "I'd hate to see you at your lowest."  
  
"Well maybe next time you can wait until the plane's in the air to show up at the airport."  
  
"I'm sorry, alright." Tad said. "I got caught in traffic." He paused. "Are you alright to get back to your seat?" Brooke nodded as Tad helped her back to the seat. He sat by the window, giving her the aisle.  
  
After a moment, the flight attendant announced preparation for take off again. Brooke leaned her head back and shut her eyes as the plane started moving. She tightened her fingers around the arm rest as the plane began to ascend. Her eyes still shut, she felt Tad's hand come down and weave his fingers with hers.  
  
"It's just a regular flight," he said. "We'll be in New York in no time."  
  
Brooke nodded silently. Tad kissed her hand before placing it back down on the arm rest, still linked with his.  
  
Brooke squeezed gently as the plane hit the air. She took a deep breath and shut her eyes. "Calm sown, Brooke." she thought to herself. "It's going to be OK. Everything's going to be fine."  
  
Tad leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Hey," he said, as if he had read her mind. "Don't worry, OK. Everything's going to be fine." 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Brooke and Edmund stood at the podium in a dinner hall in New York. "...So on behalf of Tempo Magazine," Brooke said. "We accept this award, with our deepest gratitude. Thank you."  
  
The room roared in applause. Brooke looked over at Edmund, a smile on her face. he leaned down and kissed her cheek before walking with her back down to their table where Tad was waiting.  
  
Tad stood as they approached. "Congratulations," he said, shaking Edmund's hand. Edmund sat across from Tad. "And you," Tad said, turning to Brooke. He kissed her cheek. "Congratulations."  
  
Brooke smiled. "Thanks," she said, sitting down. Tad took a seat beside her.  
  
"You two deserved this," Tad said. "All the work you did on the Proteus piece... this award belongs to you."  
  
"We put a lot of long hours in," Edmund said.  
  
"A lot of sleepless nights," Brooke added.  
  
"But it was worth it," Tad said. taking Brooke's hand under the table.  
  
"It sure was," she said. "It gives us something to work for with the next few publications."  
  
Edmund looked at her a bit surprised. "the next publications?" he asked. "So I should tear up my farewell column?"  
  
"I didn't know you already started writing one," Brooke said. "Tempo's on top, Edmund." Edmund smiled, remembering that those had been the exact words he had said to Brooke when this whole thing started. "We can't just pull out now." She paused. "We have an exclusive on the new cosmetics venture. Greenlee and Kendall's new company."  
  
"Fusion," Tad said. Brooke looked at him strangely. "Liza's been spending a lot of time down there when she's not at the station."  
  
Brooke shook her head. "the interview is already set for when we get back to Pine Valley."  
  
"You don't waste any time," Edmund smiled. "Do you?"  
  
"I like to stay on top of things," she said.  
  
Edmund smiled with a nod. "So..." he said. "What do you two have planned for tonight?"  
  
"We're going to catch a movie probably," Brooke said. "you want to come along?"  
  
"No," Edmund said. "No, thanks I... have some stuff to catch up on."  
  
"Give yourself a break tonight, Edmund," Brooke said.  
  
"I should really get this done. To clear up my schedule a bit for when we get back home."  
  
Brooke silently nodded. "Suit yourself," she said as Edmund's cell phone rang.  
  
"I'd better get this," Edmund said, standing. "Excuse me."  
  
As Edmund walked away from the table, tad turned to Brooke. "You see?" he said. "Not so bad, right?" Brooke smiled weakly. "You were just worried about nothing."  
  
"I guess it was just paranoia," Brooke said as Edmund returned to the table. She didn't like the look on his face. "Is everything OK on the homefront?" she asked.  
  
Edmund's face was drained of color. "I need to get back to Pine Valley right now," he said. Brooke looked at him. " That was Isabella on the phone. Maddie's' in the hospital."  
  
"Oh my God," Brooke said.  
  
"They think it might be food poisoning."  
  
"We should go then," Brooke said standing. "What are we waiting for?"  
  
"Brooke, you don't have to..."  
  
Brooke shook her head. "I love that little girl like she's my own, Edmund. I'm going with you." She looked over at Tad who nodded. " You call the airline and exchange the tickets. We'll pick up the coats."  
  
Edmund nodded, grabbing his cell phone again as Tad and Brooke made their way to the coat check. Brooke handed the coat stubs over.  
  
"That poor little girl," Brooke said as she got the coats and handed Tad his. "She's probably scared..."  
  
Tad took her hands. They were trembling. "You're shaking like a leaf."  
  
"I'm just worried about Maddie."  
  
"No," Tad said. "You need to take it easy."  
  
"I'm fine," she said.  
  
"Don't lie to me, Brooke." Tad said. "I know this is all deja vu... and it scares the hell out of you." Brooke silently looked at him. "You took an earlier flight for Laura." Tad pulled her into his arms. "Look...You don't have to take the earlier flight. We can wait..." "I have to," Brooke said. "For Edmund. We can't let him go back to face this alone. I know that if God forbid it was Jamie who was in the hospital, Edmund would get on that plane back to Pine Valley in a heartbeat."  
  
"Are you going to be OK?"  
  
"I don't know," Brooke admitted. "But I have to give this a chance. For Maddie." She paused. "Just don't you dare let go of my hand for one second."  
  
Tad smiled and rested his hand on the back of her head. "Deal." 


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Edmund paced the floor nervously, running his fingers back through his hair. "You're going to wear a hole in the carpet," Brooke said. "Edmund sit." Edmund shook his head, stopping in his tracks. He rubbed his temples as Brooke stood and approached him. "Please," she said, taking hold of his arms. "Please just sit down. You're not going to do yourself any good being nervous."  
  
"My baby's in the hospital, Brooke," Edmund said. "My little girl is sick and I'm stuck here. She doesn't have anyone there. Maria's off somewhere with..."  
  
"I am sure that Isabella got ion touch with Maria," Brooke interrupted him. "And we'll be back in Pine Valley in no time." Edmund averted his gaze from her, but Brooke lifted her hand, turning his head to look her in the eye. "Everything's going to fine, Edmund. Tad went to see why it's taking so long for us to board. He'll be back, we'll all get on the plane, and we'll fly back to Pine Valley." she paused. "I've arranged for a car to pick us up and get us to the hospital. We won't waste a second. I swear, OK?"  
  
Edmund nodded as Tad slowly made his way to them. "Not too much longer," he said.  
  
"What's taking so long?" Edmund asked.  
  
"This is the plane's first run today." Tad said. "They're still running the check on the engine. Standard procedure."  
  
Edmund took a deep breath. "I think I'll go call the hospital," he said. "Tell them we're still in New York."  
  
Brooke nodded. As Edmund walked away from them, Tad reached over and took Brooke's' hand. "Are you OK?" he asked.  
  
"So far so good," Brooke assured him. "I'm just glad this is almost over. I never thought I'd be happier to see Pine Valley."  
  
"You said it," Tad said. "Back to some type of normalcy."  
  
They hear the announcement over the intercom. "Flight 126 to Pine Valley, Pennsylvania is now boarding."  
  
"Edmund!" Brooke waved him over. Edmund nodded, still on the phone, motioning for them to get on the plane. Brooke and Tad turned, getting on the plane. Edmund continued to pace, talking on the phone.  
  
"You haven't been able to get in touch with Maria?" Edmund asked. "...but is she doing any better?.. Isabella, we're getting on the plane now, so I'll be there as soon as I can... Tell Maddie I love her very much and that I'll see her soon... OK."  
  
Edmund hung up the phone and put it in his jacket pocket as he boarded the plane. he made his way to his seat on the aisle. He rested his head back, his eyes shut when he felt a hand come down on his shoulder. Edmund jumped, looking over at Brooke.  
  
"How is she?" Brooke asked.  
  
Edmund shrugged. "About the same," he said. "Isabella can't get in touch with Maria..."  
  
Brooke gently squeezed hi shoulder. "We'll be there in about no time at all." Edmund put his hand over hers. "She'll find Maria." broke faced him, looking him in the eye. "Maria loves those kids too much not to show up."  
  
"It's not her not showing up that I'm worried about." he aid.  
  
"Please take your seat, ma'am," the flight attendant said to Brooke. "We're about to take off."  
  
Brooke gave Edmund's shoulder one last squeeze. "Hang in there," she said. "Before going back to her seat.  
  
"How's he doing?" Tad asked.  
  
Brooke shook her head. "He just wants to see his little girl," she paused. "Isabella still can't get in touch with Maria..."  
  
"I thought everything was getting back to normal with them."  
  
Brooke chuckled softly. "She remembered a little," she said. "But that's it. I think Edmund's just about given up hope." she paused. "Maria was the love of his life, Tad. It's just like she's dies all over again." Brooke sighed.  
  
"Will you stop blaming yourself for this." Tad said.  
  
"I am not blaming myself for anything." Tad raised his eyebrows. "I got over blaming myself a long time ago."  
  
"Liar." Brooke just looked at him. "I can read you like a book. You can't pull one over on me... no matter how hard you try."  
  
"Well, how can I not blame myself?" Brooke said, turning her body in her seat to face him. "Who knows if things wouldn't be different now if I had just... said what I knew... that Maria was alive."  
  
"Hey, I could have said something..."  
  
Brooke shook her head. "You didn't see her, Tad. I saw her... and then I went right back to Pine Valley and married Edmund anyway."  
  
"What's with the 'what ifs' all of a sudden?" Tad asked.  
  
"It's just that I've been made Pine Valley pariah... with good reason... and I guess that with the Endicott... with Tempo getting this award, it just brings back a flood of memories... and I think of... of all the people who would have been better off knowing the truth."  
  
"It's not like you can go back and change it." Tad said. "It's over and done with. There's no point in driving yourself crazy over what could have been... because if that's the case, we should start questioning everything. Everything, Brooke." Tad reached out and took her hand. "And I know that you don't want to start to question your entire life."  
  
"You mean us." Brooke said. "Tad. What we have right now... It's the only thing that seems so right in my life. I could never question that. Ever."  
  
Tad smiled. "Well that's good to know," he said. "We both have at least one thing right in our lives... eachother." he paused. "Don't ever let that go, Brooke. No matter what."  
  
Brooke nodded, a smile on her face as she leaned back once again in her seat. She finally felt relaxed and somewhat at peace as the airplane made it's way towards Pine Valley. The flight was calm and quiet, finally putting to bed all of Brooke's worries and her deepest fears.  
  
This serenity however was short lived. It was all brought to a sudden halt. The cabin of the plane began to shake.  
  
Brooke jumped, her face fear stricken. "Oh, my God," she said. "It's happening again." 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Brooke began to panic as Tad reached over for her hand, holding it down on the arm rest.  
  
"Easy," he said. "Easy, Brooke. Brooke, look at me." He took his hand and lightly turned her cheek so that her eyes met with his. "Look at me. It's just a little turbulence. Brooke." He was beginning to lose her attention. "Brooke. Don't make me have to call Laurel Hill once we get home. That is the last thing on the face of this earth that I would want to go through." Brooke squeezed his hand tightly. "Just sit back and take a deep breath. It'll be over in a minute. Everything's under control, OK?" Brooke leaned back, taking a long, deep breath. "Good, good," Tad said. " Alright." The plane began to steady. "Better?" Brooke sighed in relief. "You're not going to go and pass out on me now, are you?"  
  
Brooke took a few more deep breaths, resting her head back. "No, I don't think so."  
  
"OK," he said. "Alight just... calm down. You're heart is racing. And I don't want to have to give you mouth to mouth." Tad paused, a smirk on his face. "Well..." Brooke slapped his arm. "Oww," Tad laughed. "What?" Brooke just shook her head, rolling her eyes.  
  
"You're unbelievable," she said.  
  
Tad grinned. "I thought you might like that element of surprise," he laughed.  
  
"Maybe some other time," Brooke said. "Maybe I should call Jamie and tell him we're almost home."  
  
"I called him from New York and told him we were coming home early." Tad said. "I told him that he could bring his things home and then go on over to JR's."  
  
"JR's?" Brooke asked.  
  
"We can talk about this once we get off the plane. We're going to be landing soon anyway." Brooke squinted her eyes a bit, looking at him, clearly trying to read him. Tad looked back at her, smiling slightly.  
  
She shook her head with a laugh. "I don't think I'll ever get you," she said.  
  
  
  
Brooke and Tad stood in the waiting room at Pine Valley Hospital as Edmund went to Maddie's room.  
  
"I can't believe she didn't come," Brooke said. "If not for Edmund, at least for her daughter."  
  
"Maybe Maria's on her way, who knows." Tad turned and began towards the elevator.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"To get something to eat," he said.  
  
"Here?"  
  
"I'm starving."  
  
"You're desperate."  
  
Tad laughed, walking back towards Brooke and wrapping his arms around her. "How about a cup of coffee then?" he asked her. Brooke was reluctant. "Come on, I'm paying."  
  
"I guess the coffee can't be that bad." she said as she puled away from Tad and walked to the elevator. Tad stepped on behind her and they started down to the cafeteria.  
  
The elevator was empty aside from Tad and Brooke. Tad reached out and pressed the emergency stop button. The elevator came to a halt.  
  
Brooke looked over at Tad. "What do you think you're doing?" she asked.  
  
"Stopping the elevator." Tad smiled.  
  
"yeah, I kind of figured that," Brooke said. "Why?"  
  
"Well," Tad said, leaning his back against one of the walls. "I said we would talk."  
  
"I wasn't planning on it being on an elevator, stuck somewhere between the first and second floor."  
  
"Yeah, well. There's nobody else around and I wanted to talk to you alone." Tad paused.  
  
"What?" Brooke asked, watching his expression.  
  
"We've been taking this slow." Tad said. "And don't get me wrong, Brooke, that was a good idea. We were both coming off of really rocky periods, but..."  
  
"But?" Brooke said nervously. She shook her head. "Oh, Tad..."  
  
"No," Tad took her hands. "No, no, no. I was going to say... Brooke. I haven't been this happy in a long time. In... I can't remember how long."  
  
Brooke looked up at him. "Since Dixie."  
  
Tad bit his bottom lip. "Yeah," he said. "I haven't really been able to do much of anything since Dixie died."  
  
"She's only been gone for a year, Tad. there's been a lot going on. Especially since Christmas... and everything with Jake." She paused, her head falling slightly. "I understand."  
  
"understand? Brooke, you're jumping to conclusions here. You're a journalist, you should know better than that." He paused, cupping her cheek. "I love you, Brooke. I do." He paused. again. "I want us to be the family that Jamie dreams about. I love spending time with him. I love spending time with you." Brooke nodded. A slight smile started to form on her face. "I want to do this right."  
  
"You're doing a good job so far." Brooke smiled.  
  
"Come to dinner with me."  
  
"Excuse me?" she said off guard.  
  
"Come to dinner with me." Tad said again. "Tonight. Anywhere you want to go. Anything from... chicken fingers to prime rib."  
  
"That's not all, is it?"  
  
Tad shook his head. "Then... after dinner. We can head back to my place."  
  
"What about Jamie?"  
  
"He's staying with JR," Tad said. "remember?" Brooke nodded. "So... we could go back to my place, open up a bottle of wine." Brooke raised her eyebrows. "Orsini, '94. Good year."  
  
"I bet."  
  
"And then..." Tad continued. "Who knows. We'll see where the night takes us." He looked at her. "Too much?"  
  
"No, no." she said. "Not at all."  
  
"I don't want you to feel rushed to..."  
  
"What?" she said. "Give my heart away to you?" she paused with a smile. "I already have, Tad. A long time ago."  
  
"We're on the same page then." Tad smiled.  
  
"Yeah," Brooke replied. She paused. "Tad..." she said. "I'm really glad you came to New York. Thank You."  
  
"Hey, don't mention it," Tad said. "Anytime. I was glad to go. It was... an experience."  
  
"Oh, you had a great time. Don't lie. " Brooke laughed.  
  
"I did," he said. "I did. Aside from the broken hand." he added sarcastically. "I'm going to have to get Jake to take a look at it."  
  
"Very funny, Tad." Brooke said.  
  
Tad shrugged, grinning innocently. Brooke put her arms around his waist. "I was thinking," he said. "I might have jumped the gun a little... back on Halloween."  
  
"Halloween?" Brooke said. "That was months ago."  
  
"I know," he said. "But it just came to mind. Jamie'll be out of school soon, for the summer. And I was thinking that maybe you'd reconsider my offer... St. Barts." Brooke was silent. "I've got some vacation time coming up. A few weeks in the Caribbean. Brooke." He paused. "I'm doing it again. right?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Scaring you away. Just like on Halloween."  
  
"Oh come on, Tad," Brooke said. "You can't scare me away. Not with this." Brooke paused. "I was thinking of taking some time off anyway."  
  
"Then you'll come?" Tad's eyes widened in anticipation.  
  
"A trip to the Caribbean," she said. "I couldn't turn that down. Not if I'm going to get to spend a few weeks with my two favorite guys."  
  
"Two, huh?" Tad grinned. "Jamie and..."  
  
"Funny, Martin," Brooke smiled.  
  
"I know, I know," Tad laughed. "but where would the world be without my infectious charm?"  
  
"So that's what you're calling it now?"  
  
"If it fits," He laughed. Tad leaned down and kissed Brooke's forehead. "Do you remember?" he began. " When we were talking... back at the beginning of this whole thing?.. You wanted to know what my heart wanted." he paused. "I know what my heart wants, Brooke. She's the one who's standing in this elevator with me right now. And the heart doesn't lie."  
  
Brooke smiled. Her eyes started to water as Tad pushed a loose strand of hair away from her face. He brought his head down, kissing her. She brought her hands up to his face, melting into him.  
  
They slowly pulled away, still gazing deeply into eachother's eyes. "I love you." Brooke said.  
  
Tad smiled at her words. this was going to work. Their relationship would last. He felt it in his heart and he knew that she felt it too. And as they stood together in the elevator, they just knew that this was only the beginning. 


	19. Conclusion

Edmund walked into his daughter's hospital room and the little girls smiled widely as she saw him.  
  
"Daddy!" Maddie said. "You came!"  
  
Edmund smiled, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. "Of course I came," he said. "You're my baby. I would have flapped my arms to fly here for you if I had to."  
  
Maddie giggled. "You're silly, Daddy." Edmund smiled, running his hand back on Maddie's head.  
  
"How are you feeling, baby?" he asked. "You look like you feel better."  
  
"A little bit," she said. "My tummy still feels funny. They give me that pink stuff for it though."  
  
"Oh, the pink stuff, huh?" Edmund said.  
  
"Mmmhmm," Maddie said. "Daddy? Is Mommy here?"  
  
Edmund thought. "Not yet, sweetie." he said. "I'm sure Mommy's on her way though, OK?"  
  
"Did you call her?"  
  
"Abuela called her."  
  
"Are you sure she's coming, Daddy?"  
  
"Of course she's coming. Mommy's probably on her way here right now."  
  
Maddie smiled. "OK," she said. "What about Mommy Brooke. Is she here, Daddy?"  
  
Edmund shut his eyes briefly. "Broke will come in a little later to see you." he said. "She came all the way back with me when she heard you were sick." Maddie yawned. "I know you're tired, sweetheart. Why don't you try to get some sleep."  
  
"Will Mommy be here when I wake up?" she asked.  
  
"Maybe," he said. "Why don't you close your eyes? Go on, Maddie. Close your eyes."  
  
The little girl closed her eyes, almost immediately falling asleep. Edmund sat there for a moment, watching Maddie, before he stood. He bent down and gently kissed her forehead.  
  
Edmund stepped out of the room, pausing outside the door, running his fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath.  
  
"We're looking for Madeline Grey," Edmund heard. He looked up towards the nurse's station. He opened his mouth to call to Maria, but stopped himself as he saw her... with Aidan Devane.  
  
The nurse pointed Maria and Aidan towards the room. Edmund folded his arms across his chest as they started towards him. Maria stopped short, seeing Edmund. Aidan looked at her.  
  
"I can wait," he said, noticing the uneasy look on Maria's face. "Maureen?" He lightly touched her shoulder.  
  
"Would you?" she said. Aidan nodded. Maria slowly made her way over to Edmund.  
  
"How's Maddie?" she asked.  
  
"She's been asking for you." Edmund said, casting a glance over at Aidan.  
  
"I came as soon as I got the message."  
  
"And you brought him along."  
  
Maria gave Edmund a questioning look. "I was hoping it wouldn't be a problem."  
  
"Maddie... is already upset about everything that's going on." Edmund said. "We've explained it to her the best we can, but..." he paused. "look, Maureen. You've made your decision, and I'm trying to deal with that."  
  
"Edmund..."  
  
"Aidan's a lucky guy." he said. "I just hope that... I hope you're happy." Maria was silent. "You've found what you wanted. And even though it... it kills me to know that..." he paused. "I love you too much to see you unhappy... pretending to live a life that you can't remember. That's why I let you go, Maureen." He paused. "I won't deprive my children of their mother. But don't you hurt them. Don't make them promises you won't keep... or tell them thing you don't mean."  
  
"I wouldn't do that to them." Maria said. "I love Sam and Maddie."  
  
"Once you make this choice, stick with it." Edmund said. "Don't pull away from them halfway through like..."  
  
"Like with you?" she said. "Don't start this, Edmund. Don't start tell me again that Maria wouldn't do something like this. That she was so devoted to her children and her husband. I know you want me to say that I remember everything... That I remember our life together. But I don't. And I know that you want your wife back, that you want me to remember being her, but I can't. I'm not Maria."  
  
"No," Edmund said. "No, you're not." He paused. "My wife died in a plane crash. You... I don't know who you are anymore."  
  
"Edmund..."  
  
"Go back to Aidan." he said. "Go on with your life, and I'm going to try to go on with mine."  
  
"Edmund..."  
  
"I'll be back in a little while to see Maddie when she wakes up." Edmund said. "I'll see you around, Maureen."  
  
Edmund turned and began to walk away. Maria's shoulders fell slightly as she watched him get on the elevator. Aidan approached her. "What did he say?" he asked.  
  
Maria was silent for a moment. "Oh, nothing," she said. "Maddie's been asking for me... she's sleeping now."  
  
"Are you OK?"  
  
"Me?" Maria said. "Oh... yeah, I'm fine." She paused. "Why don't you, uh... why don't you go on in and I'll be right there."  
  
"You're sure?" Aidan asked.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah," she said. "Just give me minute, OK?" Aidan nodded silently, lightly touching her arms before walking into the room.  
  
Maria just stood outside the room for a moment, looking off towards the elevator. The doors had shut, Edmund was gone. She brought her hand up and rubbed the back of her neck thinking briefly, before turning and walking into Maddie's room. 


End file.
